I always imagined I would know
the exact moment when your heart stopped beating
whether it was a sudden illness
or some freak accident,
like getting hit by a cab while crossing 3rd Ave.
(You know nobody minds that stoplight)
In that instant, I would look up from my work
and put my hand on my chest.
I would know
because how could I not.
But the truth is
there will be no ethereal moment
where your soul passes through me
on its way to the next world.
I will not notice one less breath in the atmosphere
and the sky won�t seem darker than before.
Even mothers do not realize
when their sons have drowned in rivers
many miles away.
My hands won�t cease to work without you
and the sun will shine regardless.
A world without you tomorrow
is exactly the same as today,
But when I get that phone call
Or find you face down on the kitchen floor,
everything, oh yes, everything
Will never be the same
and I will imagine I always knew.
