I Cannot Have You

You smile across the room and I know that I love you

But you don't smile at me; I know I cannot have you

What a merciless torment; when I see you everyday

Wanting to touch you, to love you in every way

A million and one scenarios, dancing through my mind

Of your lips; a tender kiss, our hearts and souls entwined

But each glance is like heartbreak, when you look but never see

The love my heart holds for you, the wreck you've made of me

Against all reason and right judgment, I'm sure I love just you

And it tears me up inside because now I know I cannot have you



So leave me to wallow in all the pain you've made

And I will just continue on and live this masquerade

I really need to wash away, all these fantasies and dreams

Because what lies beneath the surface is never what it seems

In some ways I've always known, you were out of reach

But there's something about my heart I could never teach

And you'll never know, the passion and love that you missed

The devotion that I've felt for you, an infatuation I can't resist

It seemed so easy at first; without you I still loved you

But it's so complicated now; I know I cannot have you

Do you see what your eyes cannot?

Do you see what your eyes cannot?

My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.

I buried these feelings deep down inside,

Except in your eyes, for I cannot hide.



I used to think that love was tears.

You give your all, then it disappears,

But when I'm with you I am shown,

Life isn't worth living, when living alone.



I used to see the world in black.

I'd cry for all the things I lack.

I've left behind the pain and guilt,

Tearing down these walls I've built.



I used to hide my face from light.

I lived in a world of endless night,

But there are no shadows on the sun.

Eventually the sun and moon are one.



I used to be an empty shell,

Wishing things I cannot tell.

I try to hide but you still see,

The feelings deep inside of me.



Do you see what your eyes cannot?

My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.

Dreams

I wake from a dream.

You know those dreams that leave you slowly

But you always wish they never ended.

My dreams are like that,

As quiet and soft as a breath,

But as powerful and wild as a thunderstorm.

Like a gentle kiss on the cheek,

It makes its impression and then leaves.

It leaves you grasping on to it, begging it to stay,

But it cannot.

Such is the way of things

That dreams do come and go in rhythm.

If that rhythm ever vanished,

What would become of reality?

Cold and harsh,

It is reality that forces the dream from our minds.

For in the dream, the images from the mind seem real,

But they dissolve, and physical existence is there.

The night holds enough mystery, love,

Adventure and horror to last a lifetime,

But it disappears and we must move on.

A Jaded Portrait

I walk these cold streets

These streets I've walked with you

What's left is a memory

Of dirty alleys and a dismal view

Somehow it looks so different

From the road I've walked before

It's just how I remember

Except you're not with me anymore



I struggle to see the stars

Through the billowing clouds of haze

You gave the stars their fire

The same way you set my heart ablaze

It seems like only minutes

Since your candle's been blown out

Leaving me in wanting

And now I must live on without



Without you I still see you

Locking me in your embrace

Always the romantic one

With a tragically handsome face

Now I'm left in wonder

Marveling at love and life and death

How life ends so quickly

But love continues without a breath



What is left; I bring along

A memory of love without a frame

It's just a jaded portrait

Of a tender face without a name

Along the Fading Line

I walk along the fading line,

Between reality and dreams.

Now this edge is in decline,

And nothings as it seems.



Where illusions feel so certain,

And reality seems pretend.

I'm caught behind a curtain,

When the line begins to blend.



They tell me to trust my dreams,

One day they might come true.

But when I pull apart the seams,

The fantasies begin to skew.



These delusions start spread,

And the limits keep on fading.

Steadily taking over my head,

As the distortion is pervading.



Any mark has disappeared.

It's gone without a trace,

And the line has been smeared.

There's empty in its place.



I walk along the fading line,

Between reality and dreams.

Now I'm looking for a sign,

For nothings as it seems.

Disillusioned

When I was a child I never was told

This world was so wild, unruly and cold

But tragedy never collided this close to my heart

Until Jared decided to tear my life apart

Its something that comes to all but me

Until I heard the drums of my destiny

The light of his candle had been blown away

A death I couldn't handle so I started to pray,

"God, help the people who've wandered afar

For they are the people whom hate did scar."



I've reached the conclusion

There's no more delusions

So start the confusion

From this moment on

I'm disillusioned...



When I was na�ve, people always said

Never deceive the one that you wed

What a group of liars they turned out to be

Full of impious desires and hypocrisy

Marriage is holy or so I've heard

But now love is only a fake silly word

Parents tear apart the kids they betray

So with a broken heart, I started to pray,

"God, help the lost children. They cry for a guide.

These are the children for whom your son died."



I've reached the conclusion

There's no more delusions

So start the confusion

From this moment on

I'm disillusioned...



When I was little I was made to believe

You never belittle what others achieve.

The worlds at peace and people understand

That we all need a piece to survive in this land

Racism is dead and Hate's just a word

I would lie in my bed and never had stirred

Until somebody tore my calm world away

I could not ignore so I started to pray,

"God, help humanity. Your people are crying

Please, end the insanity. Poor people are dying"



I've reached the conclusion

There's no more delusions

So start the confusion

From this moment on

I'm disillusioned...

Walking to Your Gallows

You pass me by, you see me stare
Your eyes see a hate that isn't there.
You're walking to your gallows
Alone
Afraid
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unmade

All around you, this world is dust
Just empty words, lies and mistrust
You've tried once but it's all in vain
All you want is to end the pain

You move by without a glance
Nothing here is left to chance.
You're walking to your gallows
Tired
Worn
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unborn

Each day is darker than the last
Your futures slipping into the past
Your heart can't take much more of this
You're clinging to what's left of bliss

You go by without lifting your head
You go to end your life instead.
You're walking to your gallows
Wounded
One
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Undone

Oh, Jared, don't you see?
You're walking to your gallows
You're leaving me.

I Fell In Love the Last Time it Rained

I fell in love the last time it rained

Mysteries of life at last explained

All illusions of a girl

As truth's lies unfurl

I find myself lost in a dark, deep sea

Looking toward what is meant to be



Tangled in this game of pretend

Deceit and sincerity never end

Only dreams to be told

Deep in the nights cold

Ghosts of all the could've beens'

Where lies end and truth begins



I fell in love the last time it rained

Mysteries of life at last explained

All illusions of a girl

As truth's lies unfurl

You shielded me from all the pains

And I still see you when it rains